BEND, OR (April 1st, 2021) -- Riding the wave of excitement after a recent $15k giveaway of home services in a fundraiser to support Central Oregon Community College, Gavin Hepp, co-owner of Webfoot Painting, announced that effective immediately Webfoot will offer discounts on all of Webfoot’s services to individuals with “impressive mustaches.”
The definition of “impressive” seems somewhat subjective, but Gavin had this to say, “I think you know an impressive mustache when you see it.”
“Growing a mustache is hard,” said Gavin, addressing the 4 people that showed up to the COCC announcement. “It’s time we start appreciating people that have invested the time and effort into grooming the hairs above their lip."
Webfoot Human Resources Manager, Clarice Magno, said that the focus on mustaches at Webfoot has become increasingly prevalent. “During the quarantine last year, there was a mustache growing contest among the employees at Webfoot,” Magno said. “I’m not sure where the idea came from, but many employees think it was covert attempt from Gavin to indirectly draw more attention to his mouth brow that he has been working on for over a decade.”
“He does something like this every Spring, and it really seems to rejuvenate him,” said Gavin’s mom. “Back in the Spring of 1998, he asked his English teacher if he could earn extra credit for growing a mustache.”
“What are you gonna do, though?” Said Dave Hepp, Gavin’s Dad. “Gavin has spent years searching for the perfect mustache. It was right under his nose the whole time.”
Support for Gavin’s affinity to mustaches hasn’t always been widely accepted. Travis Ulrich, childhood friend of Gavin and co-owner at Webfoot said, “I never liked the idea of having a mustache, but then it grew on me.”
Greg Haskin, Carpentry project manager and resident “dad-joke teller” at Webfoot, said he was excited for the opportunity to focus on an entire new frontier of dad jokes. He proceeded with, “How does a mustache support his family in the event of his untimely death? By investing in a shavings account.”
Webfoot is uncertain how long this obviously misogynistic discount can last. It may not make it past April 1st, 2021. So call immediately for details.
